|
Published Work Samples
|
Asia Trend Magazine, July 2007 The Healing Art of Acupuncture (Click for full article in pdf.) The Healing Art of Acupuncture Chinese medicine, which includes acupuncture, is a holistic health care system. It is designed to take you—in your entirety—into account, to eliminate the root cause of your problem. The Eastern mindset sees the body as a cohesive ONE—a complex system where everything within it is inter-connected—where each part affects all other parts. Lack of balance within this biological system is the precursor to all illness. The body exhibits symptoms when suffering from inner dis-ease, and if it’s not re-balanced these symptoms may lead to acute or chronic illnesses of all kinds. The acupuncture physician examines and figures out the root cause by asking questions, and using various forms of observation and palpation. • Questions cover a wide span of issues, including your emotional state, bodily functions, and areas of pain or discomfort. • Tongue diagnosis, and looking at the eyes and the coloration of the skin, is done to discover the current state of internal functions (or dysfunctions), which leave visible clues in these areas. He may also observe speech patterns, agitation, signs of depression and other non-visible clues, through the act of listening. • Palpation, such as feeling the pulses and touching the skin to check for dryness, moisture, hardness or pliability, is also done to gain insight about the inner state of the body. Based on this information, the acupuncturist comes up with a diagnosis and the most suitable treatment. The beauty of Chinese medicine is that, unlike allopathic (Western) medicine, it does not simply disguise the symptoms. Rather the treatment is geared to hit the internal root of the problem—which oftentimes has little or no apparent connection with the symptom on the outside—and the symptoms are relieved because the underlying cause is either re-balanced, or removed. In essence, your natural state of physical health is re-established. Some people aptly call this “cure.” Say Sayonara! to Side-Effects That are Worse Than the Original Complaint Acupuncture and Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM)—, which includes herbal therapy—is powerful medicine, yet remarkably safe with few, if any, negative side effects. But it does have the added boon of POSITIVE side effects! The reason for this remarkable windfall of good health is quite simple. A root problem, or “root dis-ease in the system,” usually leads to not only one, but a multitude of physical, mental and emotional symptoms. High blood pressure, for example, can lead to dizziness, headaches, fainting spells and even emotional disturbances, as well as heart or kidney disease and stroke. So a patient presenting chronic headaches, dizziness and the early stages of kidney disease is not coming in with a multitude of SEPARATE problems. They’re all connected, via the root problem that is causing the high blood pressure. Here’s where our Eastern/Western paths often veer apart at sharp angles. Western medicine puts you on a pill to artificially force your blood pressure down. (This is why you have to “tinker” with the dosages. Your body has no say in the matter; it simply has to respond to the chemical introduced into your system.) Eastern medicine, on the other hand, will try to figure out the root cause of the high blood pressure. It’s not normal. Why? There’s a reason. Once the diagnosis has been made, the herbal and/or acupuncture treatments will prompt the body to re-balance itself, so that the blood pressure can return to normal. Since the body is in charge—it’s not artificially forced to respond—it will do so at its own pace, and usually without troublesome side effects. And here’s the sweet spot: when the root cause of the high blood pressure is diminished or removed completely, the dizziness and the headaches subside. The kidney disease is given the opportunity to go into remission. AND, the patient may suddenly find that she’s sleeping better, sweating and flushing less, has greater stamina, less fatigue, more “regular” bowel movements, clearer skin... all positive side effects from finally getting the internal system back into optimal functionality. Asia Trend Magazine, August 2007 The Yin and the Yang of it (Click for full article in pdf.) The Yin and the Yang of it Last month we discussed how an imbalance within the energetic system of the body leads to illness, and how acupuncture and herbal therapy heals by re-balancing the energies within this system. The “energy-balance” we were referring to is the balance of Yin and Yang. According to the Yin-Yang theory, everything consists of two opposite aspects, Yin and Yang. These two aspects are represented in: up and down, left and right, hot and cold, stillness and movement, etc. Since they are opposites, there is implied conflict between the two, and yet they are completely interdependent. When one rises the other falls. When darkness creeps in, the light fades at the same rate. There cannot be total darkness and bright light at the same time. Yang characteristics include movement, ascending, brightness, hyperactivity and heat. Functional and progressing diseases pertain to Yang. Yin characteristics, in contrast, include stillness, descending, darkness, hypo activity and cold. Typical disease patterns associated with an imbalance of Yin energy include organic and degenerative diseases. Because of the Yin-Yang interdependency, they constantly interact with each other, creating a continually fluctuating balance. When Yin lessens, Yang increases, and vice versa. When you are in good health, the interactions between these two energies maintain a relative balance where neither is too strong nor too weak. Trouble arises when there is either an excess or deficiency of either Yin or Yang. This is when illness begins to rear its ugly head, and suddenly you feel “off.” The longer this imbalance remains untreated, the worse it gets, until finally you end up manifesting some form of acute illness, or chronic / degenerative disease. In addition to being interdependent, Yin and Yang are also considered “mutually transforming.” What this means is that at their extremes, they transform into the other. So, extreme cold brings about heat, and extreme heat induces cold. Interior syndromes can transform into exterior syndromes, and excess symptoms can flip into deficiencies. This deep complexity is one of the reasons why we always recommend you visit an acupuncturist who is trained in the proper theories, diagnosis and application of traditional Chinese medicine (TCM) principles. Making sure you receive treatment from someone with a minimum of a Master’s degree in Oriental Medicine may be the difference between a “so-so” experience, and a “WOW!” result. This mutual transformation mentioned above is often seen during the development of an illness. As an example, if you suffer a high fever that suddenly drops drastically, accompanied by a pale complexion, cold arms, legs, and a weak pulse, your Yang syndrome (fever) has transformed into a Yin syndrome. The proper emergency treatment would include warming the limbs to bring the pulse back to normal, which will allow the Yang chi (energy) to recover, bringing you out of the danger zone for further internal injury. As a general, simplified principle, you treat the Yin energy when you have a Yang disease, and you treat the Yang for a Yin disease. The theory of Yin and Yang is also applied to the clinical administration of herbs, where each herb can be categorized as having either Yin or Yang characteristics. Yin herbs have cold, cool or moist properties. Yang herbs are hot, warm or dry. Their flavors are also divided into Yin/Yang, with sour, bitter and salty being Yin, and pungent or sweet Yang. The goal of any clinical and herbal treatment is to restore a healthy Yin-Yang balance within the patient. You can easily apply the theory of Yin-Yang in your daily life
to help you maintain your internal balance. Let’s say you’ve been working on the computer for some time and beginning to feel tired and worn out. Your breathing is sluggish, eyes are heavy and your face feels like it’s about to slide off. You’re clearly having a very Yin moment. To counter this heavy, lethargic feeling—stand up, shake your arms, jump up and down and breathe deeply. If you can, stand in the sun for a few minutes. These things are all Yang-natured, to counteract and rebalance the excessive Yin you experienced before. Here’s another example of using the Yin-Yang theory as an easy-breezy health maintenance tool at home. You ate too much! You ate to the point of being in a good amount of pain, and from the way your body feels, you may as well have eaten lead. What’s happening? Yin is having a field day in your normally Yang gut. To snap out of the distress, simply drink a cup of warm ginger tea. The ginger, being an “acrid and hot” herb, will soon push the excess Yin back, reestablishing the balance. Taking over-the-counter drugs—, which so many end up doing in a case like this—will not fix the problem. They will only mask the surface symptom, and often, not very well at that.
Asia Trend Magazine, September 2007 Got Chee? (Click for full article in PDF) Got Chee? There must be some primal force,
But it is difficult to describe or locate.
I believe it exists, but I cannot see it.
I do see its results, I can even feel it, but it has no form. Zhuang Zhou, 4th Century BCE Last month we discussed the nature of Yin and Yang, which now brings us to Master Zhuang Zhou, the author of the quote above-commenting on the nature of Qi-who also said, "Cosmic Yin and Yang are the greatest of Qi." The other day I treated an elderly gentleman who had come in to see me about a pain in his knee. A few needles and a couple of minutes later, a puzzled look spread across his face as he moved his leg about. "How's it feel?" I asked. "It feels great," he said, still looking confused. "Huh... well, I'll be darned..." he continued, walking over to my acupuncture chart on the wall. "So, tell me again," he said, "what's this chee thing you keep talking about? How does this stuff work?" What Makes Life Come Alive? What is Qi (also spelled ch'i or ki, pronounced chee), and how does it work? Indeed. That's the million-dollar question sages and scientists have struggled to explain throughout the ages. It's much like the question, "what is consciousness?" The nature of Qi is firmly rooted in the Eastern mindset, but the people of the West often have trouble relating to the possible existence of something that has yet to be proven by western science. The fact is no one has really been able to prove Qi exists-it is invisible and immeasurable. It has no form, and is very difficult to describe. Yet you can feel it, and you certainly can see its results. The most basic "Qi 101" could be described as: If it's alive, it has Qi. If it's dead, the Qi is gone. Qi has been described as a kind of ‘life force,' or ‘spiritual energy.' It's often translated as ‘energy flow,' ‘air,' ‘breath,' ‘life-breath,' or even as ‘bio-plasma' or ‘bio-energy.' Unfortunately, the latter, westernized versions, do not adequately describe the full meaning of Qi, which, when properly nurtured can extend well past the physical body and throughout the Universe. Zhuang Zhou also gave this telling description of Qi, "When it accumulates there is life. When it dissipates, there is death... There is one Qi that connects and pervades everything in the world." The concept of this kind of life-energy inherent in all living things is not reserved for the Chinese, nor to the practice of Chinese Medicine (TCM) and acupuncture. It is a fairly universal concept, showing up across the globe as part of many ancient religions and belief systems. In Polynesian mythology there's mana (manna); the Hebrews have ruah; the Hindus have prana; in Finnish mythology it shows up as sisu; and in Roman Mythology and Christianity it's referred to as Spiritus (spirit), just to name a few. Qi is everywhere and can therefore be considered from the viewpoint of the tiniest atom, to the vastness of the Universe itself. For example, what is that invisible factor holding the protons, electrons and neutrons of an atom together, in perfect balance? Or, what is the gravitational pull made of that holds the sun, moon and earth in orbit within the vacuum of space itself? Perhaps the easiest and most accurate description of Qi is "energy," or "energetic force." Qi is the invisible factor that permeates everything, and maintains the harmonic balance. Somehow, the idea that something allows life to happen, is a universal thought-something propels that egg and that sperm together; something animates each cell, making it "alive," rather than "dead"... What exactly that is, is up for debate, but we call it Qi. It's a form of energy. The Role of Qi in Chinese Medicine The theory of Chinese Medicine asserts that the body consists of natural patterns of Qi, which circulate in channels called meridians. When these channels become blocked, or the flow of Qi is disrupted or unbalanced, or when there's a deficiency or excess of Yin/Yang Qi, various illnesses and diseases set in. (For more on this, see the July issue.) Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) treats these imbalances by adjusting the circulation of Qi using a variety of therapies, including acupuncture, herbal medicines, moxibustion and massage. Feel the Qi! The best way to understand Qi is to experience it for yourself, and the easiest way is by experimenting with this simple hand technique. Step 1. Sit down (so you won't lose your balance), then rub your hands together vigorously for about 5 to 10 seconds. Step 2. Put your hands out in front of you, about shoulder-width apart. Then close your eyes. Step 3. With your eyes closed, slowly, very slowly bring your hands together until you feel a slight pressure between your palms. It may feel as though you have a rubber ball or a piece of dough between your hands. Step 4. Open your eyes. How far apart are your hands? Everyone should be able to feel pressure before their palms touch when doing this exercise. Some people's hands will be perhaps a foot or more apart, whereas others a mere inch or two. The stronger your Qi, the more space you will have between your hands when you feel the resistance.
|
|
|
|
|
|
West Orange Times - March 22, 2007 Tragedy to Triumph:Ocoee man’s journey from paralysis to helping others By Ami Ahlstedt Benjamin McCluske AP, LMT, a man of average stature, with salt ’n pepper beard and a beaming smile, greets everyone he meets with a warm handshake and a friendly chat. A graduate from the Florida College of Integrative Medicine in Orlando, McCluske recently opened his Acupuncture and therapeutic massage practice at Dr. Jo J. Reeves Chiropractic in Winter Garden. “I’m the first in my family to reach a Masters Degree,” he says “which I’m quite proud of.” The fact that he is well contented and self-assured is obvious. What you don’t see are the near insurmountable challenges he had to overcome to make his dream a reality. In July 2001, McCluske ventured out on what would be a fateful dive, off the coast of Cape Canaveral. After fourteen years of diving, this would be his last. He committed a crucial error, resulting in “the bends”. Three air bubbles expanded in his brain and brainstem—one the size of a quarter—causing severe, irreparable brain damage. The day after his 32nd birthday, McCluske found himself paralyzed from the neck down. “During my basic massage training I realized I had a knack for bodywork,” he says. “I’d been a bit of a wild child throughout my earlier years, but now I was certain I had found my calling. I had decided to continue my education and become an acupuncture physician. To say the accident came at an inopportune time would be an understatement.” It started as a regular day on the water with good friends, intent on catching some lobster. Among them were long-time friend, dive shop owner and instructor, Tom Berkery; Jason Lane, currently serving onboard the USS Kittyhawk; an Oviedo Lieutenant; an Orange County Deputy; and yours-truly. “I remember standing at the stern, adjusting my mask,” McCluske says “when suddenly I heard a voice—crystal clear—say “Be still, and know that I am one with God.” It stopped me for a moment, and I thought, ‘Isn’t that nice…’ I felt really happy—ready for anything.” But at the surface, after a successful dive and ascent, he dropped a borrowed catch bag. “I didn’t want to be the jackass who lost his buddy’s equipment,” he says, “so I went down after it. Suddenly I was out of air and had to do an emergency ascent from a depth of about 50 feet.” Berkery had already reached the boat by the time Benjamin came up for the second time, now carried some distance away by the strong current. As he swam toward the boat, he realized something might have gone wrong. “My legs felt like lead,” McCluske says. “I went to inflate my BC to rest for a moment, but instead of reaching for the inflator, my arm flailed around and hit me in the head instead.” Berkery, who had been in the water with him for several years, now knew something was out of the ordinary and jumped back in. “He was already underwater, sinking, when I finally found him,” says Berkery. “He seemed unconscious.” The rest of the crew went on red alert as a nearby fisherman threw down his rod and jumped overboard, to help in the now apparent rescue. “I remember lying on the deck—I couldn’t see, it was just this blinding white light, but I could hear people asking me if I could breathe,” McCluske says. “I kept saying ‘yes’ but this sound, like the squeal of a retarded seal, came out instead. That’s when I got scared.” Decompression sickness, also referred to as “the bends,” occurs when nitrogen—an inert gas stored throughout the body—is exposed to a decrease in pressure, which causes it to come out of solution and expand. When this happens too quickly, such as during an emergency ascent without decompression stops, bubbles form in the body. The location of these gas bubbles lead to symptoms ranging from mild itching or joint pain, to the most severe, including sensory system failure, paralysis and death. According to Dr. Buza, Medical Director at the Brevard Regional Hyperbaric Center, the brain embolisms McCluske sustained have a survival rate of approximately 1%. McCluske credits the experience and quick thinking of his fellow divers, and the swift response and diagnosis by Dr. Buza for saving him from terminal paralysis. Nitrox, an oxygen-rich breathing mixture often used for deep diving, was immediately administered onboard in lieu of pure oxygen, and transport to the Brevard Regional Hyperbaric Center for recompression treatment occurred within a few hours of the event—a vital window of opportunity to thwart further cell damage. Treatment consisted of five hours in the hyperbaric chamber (to eliminate excess nitrogen safely) every day for the first five days, followed by daily two-hour recompression treatments for the next four weeks. McCluske is one of those rare people who operate with radical optimism. During one physical examination, Dr. Buza inquired about his plans for the future. Intently focused on raising his arm to the side and bending it to touch his index finger to his nose, McCluske replied, “I’m going to be an acupuncture physician,” at which point the arm went into an uncontrolled spasm, jerking violently up and down—his finger finally landing on his forehead. Not one to feel sorry for himself or bemoan his fate, McCluske never faltered from his conviction that he could regain his old self. “I made surprising progress pretty quickly,” he says. Fifteen days after his accident, he walked 440 feet using a walker. It took 45 minutes. Declared legally blind in 1993 due to macular degeneration—a hereditary eye disease—McCluske was no stranger to meeting adversity with a hearty sense of humor and an iron will. “I’d already made some drastic changes due to my vision, like finally giving up my driver’s license, so this was just another thing to work through—one laugh at a time.” Like the day of his return home from the hospital… As friends were about to wheel him in, he stopped them, saying, “I refuse to take a wheel chair into my own home!” then heaved himself to standing position, and fell headlong into the hallway—his welcoming committee dropping to the ground, laughing. “You have to laugh!” he says. “How else can you get through this stuff?” The real work began after his hospital release. Since he had no health insurance, no further rehabilitation was offered. “I was mad,” he says. “And not only for myself. At least I knew enough about the body to figure out my own rehab plan, but what about other people who don’t have the knowledge or the mindset to figure something like this out on their own?” In the years following, McCluske never wavered from his dedication to get back to normal and took a path few others could even imagine. Attending college to get his Associates Degree in Natural Health Sciences while still in a wheel chair—and using public transportation—for example. Or finishing his advanced massage license with a cane for walking. People took notice. “Louis Klinker, my teacher in massage school, worked with me a lot, and a friend from class, Robert Murphy, offered free weekly T’ai Chi lessons. These things really helped work on my strength, mobility and balance.” Massage, electrical stimulation, T’ai Chi and energy work, acupuncture and acupoint injections, as well as more traditional rehabilitation techniques and physical exercises, were part of McCluske’s daily self-imposed rehab regimen. Convinced that the brain is in fact capable of re-wiring neural pathways to compensate for the areas that were destroyed, McCluske focused on staying in constant motion, his motto: “If all I can move is a big toe, then I’ll move that toe. The rest will follow.” In August of 2003, two years after his accident and a prognosis that said he might never walk again, McCluske enrolled in the Masters program for Acupuncture and Chinese Medicine. At this point, he had regained full control and feeling of his upper body, including the fingers. Today, walking is still clumsy, due to lingering numbness, but no longer debilitating. “It’s a slow progression, but things are getting better all the time,” he says. After graduating from the Florida College of Integrative Medicine in 2006, McCluske’s dream of becoming an alternative health physician is finally a reality. “I know I am definitely here for a reason,” he says. “I’ve got things to do here on planet earth. The main thing, I believe, is healing others. People need compassionate care, which includes both listening and a caring human touch. And sometimes they need hope, or a good chuckle. Treating illness and pain is not just about looking at symptoms—it’s about treating the whole person and getting to the root of the problem.” When asked about how he feels about his life as it is today, he says, “I am blessed. As long as the grass is green and the sky is blue—everything will be OK.”
|
|
|
Spirituality & Health Magazine - June 2006 Brain Scan Lie Detector All Lies Revealed? Think you’ve been lied to lately? Well, soon you’ll be able to find out -- if you can persuade the fibber to get a brain scan, that is. Standard polygraphs, which measure the physical stress responses associated with lying, are no match for the latest breakthrough in lie detection -- functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) -- that scans the brain to separate fact from fiction in our heads. Cephos Corp., launched in 2004 by Dr. Steven Laken, Ph.D., to commercialize the use of fMRI’s in criminal and civil litigation, now stands on the brink of revolutionizing the way we prove truthfulness and deception. Cephos Corp. is built upon the work of Drs. Andrew Kozel and Mark George from the Medical University of South Carolina. Their study, published in the October 2005 issue of Biological Psychiatry, asked 61 participants to commit a staged crime and then answer questions about it, while undergoing an fMRI session. The brain scan caught the lies nine times out of ten. FMRI’s have, for the past 10 years, given researchers a greater understanding of exactly how we process information, learn new things, experience pain -- and now, what takes place when we stray from the truth. The fMRI accomplishes the task of detecting lies by taking snapshots of the brain while the subject is answering questions. Since lies originate in the brain, just like all other thoughts, specific areas are activated when we lie: some to suppress the truth and others to indicate the process of creating a new answer. Another study, funded by the Department of Defense Polygraph Institute, is now underway. “Assuming the results of the current study are positive,” says Laken; “we plan to commercialize the technology by mid-year 2006.” Cephos Corp. will begin by offering their services to people who want to prove their innocence, such as in libel and slander cases, or where one person’s word stands against another’s. In a society where an estimated one out of every three conversations is laced with lies, this technology might enter the arena as a loud wakeup call. Says Laken: “My parents always said ‘Leave the world a better place.’” and many seem to agree; a world where truth is viewed as a prerequisite rather than an option, could indeed be a better place. Provided good intentions hold true. For more information, log onto cephoscorp.com. --Ami Ahlstedt
|
|
|
Sedona Journal of Emergence - April 2006 (Vol.16 No.4) A Love Story By Ami Ahlstedt In the fall of 2000, I had already left a hostile marriage behind--through the help of my spirit-advisor; Michael--and met Ben. We had only begun dating when fate stepped in and rendered me without a place to call home, but he graciously offered to share his bachelor pad, if only temporarily. Ben, a natural-born comedian who shared my spiritual inclinations, had already won my heart. Winning his, however, was a different story. *** Ben sat down on the armrest and looked me straight in the eye. “I just want you to know; I’m not in love with you. Love isn’t even in the picture for me.”
With the swiftness of a pitched sword, that statement plunged through my heart and lodged securely into the couch behind my back. A searing pain took my breath away. I’m hit, Michael. I can’t breathe.
Blood seeped out of my body with each shallow breath, slowly soaking the carpet red. I searched feverishly for the most nonchalant response, something like "oh, hell no--I don’t want you either," or maybe just, "Ok, that’s fine." "Stay with it,” Michael said. “Everything’s all right. Whatever you do now--do not lie.”
Don’t lie? I can’t tell him the truth! He just said love wasn’t even in the picture for him. There’s no way I’m telling him the truth.
“Sweetheart, trust me on this one. I’m telling you--just do it!”
“Well, that’s a shame, because I’ve fallen in love with you” I whispered. Humiliation burned the tops of my ears.
“What?” he said.
Oh-my-god. He’s going to make me say it again. I can't! I will not humiliate myself like this. Run, run out that door. Run out now!
“Sit still! And do not lie. Complete honesty is of utmost importance,” Michael said.
“I said, I’ve fallen in love with you.” The heat had now swept clear across my face.
“No, I heard you,” he said, shaking his head, “I just...really?” I saw his eyes narrow behind the rims of his glasses.
“Yes.”
“Wow,” he said, cocking his head to the side as a smile--starting at the corners of the mouth--spread to his eyes, “that’s...really flattering.”
My body tingled through-and-through, and the giant drum of my heartbeat counted down the seconds in my ears.
I’m hurt, Michael. This is it--I’m dying.
“Just stay there. Die into it,” Michael cooed. ”Everything is going exactly according to plan. Trust me.”
I felt my body disintegrating, refusing to stay present another moment. Molecules separated--each with a tiny ‘plop’--and floated away. A familiar chill crept through my heart.
“Don’t shut down, sweetheart. Feel this--stay open. Just keep breathing,” he said, stroking my hair. “Deep breath in and out. That’s all you need to do--keep breathing.” Each breath was a labored act of will. Breathe into the pain and out; let the blood run. Breathe into the pain...dying...and out...Breathe into it...floating now...and out. “This too shall pass. Stay with the feeling; you will be fine. Trust me.”
“I don’t know what to say.” Ben finally said, after a long silence. “That’s really sweet. It’s definitely an ego boost for me. You’re a very attractive woman.”
’Sweet’ My ass! He’s mocking me, Michael. I’m bleeding to death and he’s mocking me!
“Die into it; it’s just a feeling. It’s not real,” he said. “ Don’t waste this wonderful opportunity.”
Ben and I stared at each other in silence.
“So. What do we do now?” Ben asked.
“Drive to the beach?” I suggested. I’d never be able to sleep again anyway.
“Sounds groovy!” he replied with his natural, up-for-anything attitude and proceeded to pack a light picnic, even though it was well past 10 p.m.
“You know, I’m really sorry,” he said after twenty minutes of driving in mutual silence.
“About what?” I said, without glancing his way.
“I’m really sorry I don’t feel the same way you do.”
“It’s OK,” I said. I was in no mood for pity.
“Whoa!” he exclaimed, turning toward the backseat; hand on the back of his head.
“What happened?” I asked.
“Something...someone just slapped me!”
I looked over at him, left eyebrow arched high on my forehead.
“Right after I said that, someone slapped me across the back of my head. Like, whack-- you dumb ass.”
I heard Michael’s satisfied chuckle and couldn’t stop a crooked smirk from sliding across my face.
“Is that ‘spirit guide’ of yours back there?” he asked.
I nodded. “Laughing, as usual.”
“Interesting,” he said, still stroking the back of his head, “very, very weird, but interesting.”
We drove to Cocoa Beach where a full moon on a cloudless night lit up the beach like a massive spotlight in the sky. We spread a blanket and laid flat on our backs, just staring at the moon. The sound of the waves crashing against the shore soothed me. Breath in. Breath out. Maybe I could still get through this with some sense of dignity, if not sanity, I thought--until Ben began recalling stories from his half-delinquent childhood and the women he’d dated through the years. An aggravated mix of anger and jealousy and self-pity jousted in my belly.
Michael, I can’t take it anymore. He’s telling me about the women he’s been with. How dare he? Who does he think he’s talking to?
Michael let out a short bursting laugh; “Whom is he talking to?”
Someone who just told him she’s in love with him, that’s who. Who talks like this? He’s torturing me!
“Aah. Is that what’s going on? Or maybe he just wants to tell you who he is?”
Well, I can do without the details, thank you very much.
“Seems to me you’re not even listening at all, laying here talking to me.”
That’s because I’m about to go insane. Can’t I just slap him and leave him here?
“I think it’s quite fascinating,” Michael said, shifting on the sand to cradle his chin in his palm.
Fascinating? What’s going on here? Why would I want to know these things?
“Why don’t you lay your judgments aside,” he said, “and just pay attention for awhile?”
You’re really starting to get on my nerves.
“People have the right to share themselves with you in any way they choose to, you know. Some are more open than others, and they are under no obligation to tell you what you want to hear, “ he said. “Relax. Listen. You might learn something.”
I felt like crying.
But I didn’t. Instead I listened. I listened to his past love life, his time at the juvenile detention center, his drug addiction and the pretty girl he gave it up for. I listened to the waves and the wind and the sound of the sand swooshing across the beach. And I watched. I watched his plump, heart shaped lips move and the glitter dance in his brown eyes from the light of the moon. I watched the pearly silver crests of the waves and the froth gathering by the shore. Relax. Listen. You might learn something.
I learned he was not entirely who I’d imagined. He was real. He’d had his own life--his own experiences--that was very different from mine. At times I heard pain and disappointment beneath the jokes and the jesting. Now and then the bitter acid of jealousy stirred in my gut.
“You weren’t there. Why judge?” Michael said.
I’m not judging. I feel hurt.
“No. You’re definitely judging. And you’re confusing things, honey. These stories say nothing about you. They are his. Besides, you’ve had your own experiences. Do they make you feel less about him? Could you love him more if you had never been in love before?”
No, I replied.
“ Then, why assume that he is stuck in some past fantasy, rather than accept the fact that he is simply sharing his experiences with you? Breathe through your feelings. They’re simply showing you where you’re still holding onto your own pain. They are not this present reality. Let reality be...just this.”
I don’t get it. This is not how it’s supposed to be. You told me he was the right one. You told me to follow my heart. Well... What’s the point?
“The point is; everything is going as planned. It’s all OK. Trust and follow your heart--not your idea of what the perfect thing is. This is good for you, trust me.”
’Trust me, trust me’... I keep hearing that and yet things keep going from bad to worse.
Michael laughed--that deep, resonant belly laugh I’d grown to love and rely on. “Well, if you weren’t so stubborn...”
Ah, shut up!
Still, somehow, by the time we drove back I felt better. Not great, by any standard definition of the word, but rather sore and tenderly open. Wounded yet grateful. Disappointed yet accepting. My big, bright fantasy balloon had popped and all I was left with was the limp string of truth. My heart--although weighted with sadness--felt strangely buoyed, as if bobbing peacefully on a sea of tranquil joy, a joy that can only be experienced through honesty. Rather than frozen and hollow, my heart was raw, bloody, exposed and alive. *** Ben did eventually fall in love with me and we’ve been living together for the past few years. Sometimes he ribs me about being the smartest woman alive for catching such a gem, and I tease him right back about being such a hard catch I needed heavenly intervention.
|
|
|
Writer's Weekly - March 29, 2006 Is Email Etiquette Passe' in Publishing? By Ami Ahlstedt Do editors need manners? Do they need to use basic writing skills in their correspondence with lowly writers? Does anyone care if they don’t? I think the answer to all three questions is: Yes.
Just the other day I responded to an advertisement for a freelance writer - I went through the usual steps: courteously introducing myself, and my written wares - and was pleasantly surprised when I saw a response in my in-box that same evening. But that’s where the giddiness came to an abrupt halt. The reply said: what do you charge
Now, don’t get me wrong - I have no objection to the question itself, had it been followed by a question mark. Or a capital letter at the beginning of the sentence. Heck, I’ll go out on a limb and say that a simple greeting like “Hello,” would have sufficed - all else missing.
I decided this editor was probably suffering from a mind-numbing migraine and simply blasted off a reply before falling into a medicated coma. So I replied, starting off with a simple “Good Evening,” described my usual fees and finished off with a perfunctory “Sincerely.” A reply came back, in a timely fashion, this time with a staggering seven words. But a greeting was not one of them. Neither was capitalization nor punctuation. I was now officially annoyed - even though I’d been given their pay rate per article (which is good to know.)
My third email consisted of two questions - which received a two-word response - neither of which answered either of my questions. I may never be able to pay my bills if I keep this up, but I decided to drop this etiquette scrooge from my list of potential clients. I’m sticking my toe in the luscious, sandy dunes of self-respect and drawing the line right here. I will not spend my precious, non-refundable time, writing to or for another professional who responds like a teenage punk accosting me in the street. Is expecting something that does not look like it belongs on my mobile phone text screen too much to ask?
Would you feel you were in good hands if a 300 lb. redneck lumberjack showed up at your house to hold a lingerie party? Why not - if you don’t expect the gatekeepers of linguistic artistry to write in complete sentences? This incident probably would not have incited me enough to write about it, had it not been for the fact that it was a repeat of the kind of lazy, nonsensical, piece-meal-type of correspondence received from some other editors as well.
Proper language - even without linguistic flair - is the one thing with the power to elevate even the lowest member of the less educated minions out of their social position, to experience and share the beauty of a well-formed thought. I’m appalled by the butchered language in these letters (yes, letters; that’s what email is) - by the very protectors and advocates of that same treasure: our publishing professionals.
I toyed with the idea of submitting this piece to that particular editor, but think it needs a larger audience than the Frito-Lay encrusted bottom of a garbage can. Editors take heed: Although I don’t foresee writers everywhere taking to the streets with pickets demanding charm-schooling for all editorial staff, bear in mind - some of us still do care about manners. Especially in written communication, since that is what we grovel to do for a living. Courtesy and professionalism is - or should be - a two-way exchange. And I don’t think I’m at all presumptuous when I say: most of us at least notice. Writers Weekly Source link: http://www.writersweekly.com/this_weeks_article/003354_03292006.html
|
|
Focus In Magazine - June 2003 More on AngelWorksBy Ami Ahlstedt Photography by Brion Price On May 1st AngelWorks Digital Media Production Studios opened its’ doors and arms to Central Florida’s movers and shakers in a rare and spectacular black-tie event. 200 VIP guests donned their tuxedoes and ball gowns to tour and mingle in South-Florida’s newest TV studio and digital media facility, located at 3020 Mercy Drive in Orlando, which on that day sported a full buffet from Pacific Seafood and a 2003 Porsche Carrera 911 in the middle of the studio. Plenty of camera action captured the live entertainment by local singer Jessica Marie Andrews and the entire event was streamed live to the website www.angelwork.com as well as to various TV screens around the facility. “First I’d like to thank beautiful Orlando,” said AngelWorks CEO and Director Kujaatele (KOOGE) Kweli. “This is a very important event in my life and hopefully it’ll be an important event in the life of Orlando, and with our plans, the world. The dream of AngelWorks is to produce things that assist, promote, encourage and ensure the triumph of the human spirit against all odds. We wanted to create a place where the small to medium size producer can come and produce high quality film and television at an affordable price. And that is what we’ve done. This is a small but mighty studio!” Speaking of beautiful, Miss City Beautiful herself, the lovely Erica Dunlap, was among the guests and was persuaded to give an impromptu singing performance--something we’ll soon see her do again in the Miss Florida 2003 contest. Other VIP’s sighted on the premises were Donna Wright of Wright Stuff Management, Kevin Jackson from AISG, Mr. Black, Director of Corporate Initiatives for Rosen Hotel & Resorts, Linda Thornton and Jed Broitman of Full Sail, as well as a lineup of Presidents of the FMPTA; Garvin Smith, Mike Conrad and Craig Soldinger. Not to mention scores of industry professionals from makeup artists and talent to independent filmmakers, directors, producers, writers and graphic media developers. The evening reached its high note with an impassioned speech by Producer and Director Barbara Trent, Academy Award Winner in 1992 for Best Documentary Feature, The Panama Deception. “I’m just really delighted to be here and to be associated with this!” said Trent. “We live in really critical times. Our first film was during the illegal war against the Sandonistas in the 80’s. Then we did one called Cover-Up Behind The Iran-Contra Affair followed by The Panama Deception. We’re about to launch a piece on what’s happening in the Mid-East right now and what’s been going on with Iraq and what some of the real incentives behind that are, and we will make that film [that video which will turn into film] for under three hundred thousand dollars. Without a place like this it becomes impossible. This is called democratizing the media and save us all because we need it. Thank you for making this possible to the world, the possibilities are endless!” AngelWorks Digital Media Production features an impressive list of multi-media capabilities. The facility includes a 40’x40’ studio, five edit suites, 20’ Camtek-Cam mate Jib, Video Toaster, Pinnacle StreamGenie, Ikegami cameras and sports a beautiful boardroom with a 6’x8’ dropdown screen and Dolby Surround Sound system. Behind the studio is ample space for extra trailers. El Monte RV studio rentals had graciously donated a make-up trailer for viewing in the back lot during the Premiere. TradeWinds Station also contributed to the event by decorating the studio with plants and waterfalls while the Porsche 911 was donated by Sports Car Center of Orlando. AngelWorks is most known for its production of live webcast conferences as well as promotional and corporate videos. Heading up the organization is Kujaatele (KOOGE) Kweli, an award winning Producer and Director. The Orange County Health Department charged him with producing and directing their 2002 and 2003 Teenage Pregnancy Prevention Campaigns, which received the Lawton Childes’ In The Life Of A Child award for the 2002 campaign. But he doesn’t stop there. Kooge’s most recent endeavors also include The Kooge Show, a half-hour radio show airing every Friday morning at 8 am on channel 660AM, where he discusses topics like: “How to get to the top and staying there”, “How to do a non judgmental debriefing”, “21 most common mistakes made by talent”, “21 ways to get fired from the set on your first day” and “Etiquette - a power tool for Business Executives”. Early in 2003 he also launched KweliWorks Institute, an Empowerment Workshop and Training organization that teaches leadership and self-management skills. Mr. Kweli recently retired from OTV Orlando Tech after 12 years of building and teaching the highly successful Television Production program, whose graduates can be found in every TV station and major studio in town.
|
|
|
